In one hour they fetch me and take me to the op rum. My iphone and other stuff will be moved to locked room somewhere and i will vacate my nice single room here on floor 6, dept r16, room 3. I have showered with special anti-bacterial soap and am lying on my newly bedded bed. In one hour approx they will roll me down to the op room and, as always have me count to 5 knowing i will reach 2, maybe. I've been knocked twice before during my life.
At 12 years old the knew i had an undescended right testicle and the school Dr thought it was time to do the right thing and remove the thing from the channel on the right side where it was stuck. The took it out, cut open my right side of the scrotum and pop it in. They sewed it up and i had stitches in both places. Of cofse i didnt know when i work up that i have stiches in my balls and thought i had just loose skjn. When i lifted my bed clothes and saw the stiches in my scrotum i got a shock. What followed was a complcation that cauSed a blooded clot on the wound and i had to spend an extra week in host and squeeze out the blood in 3 sali ne baths a day. I was in Croydon General hospital for two weeks instead of one sods of law.
Now i have taken a sedative and in 20 mins i will bexrolled down to the theater for my new acting part. I wil be trusting the surgeons to not take away my entire right vision as i can live as it is now. So the nurses now want my iphone to be locked away.
So this is my last entry for a awhile and, the the higher things around us might let me survive with vision intact as the are now instead of loosins my right vision. Keep though thumbs crossed.
Stephenx
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Just as I thought
Had a long visit from four of my work mates (section chief included). We had a good talk and they stayed 1,5 hours at least. Then GF came and dinner was served. As i finished the nice surgeon arrived and told me there was no other tumour showing on the mri. However the now known as primary tumour had grown since 28th july 2x 1,5 to 3,5 x 1,5. This shows its more than likely cancer and the op will be at 8am tomorrow, Wednesday. Hopefully my sight will not be made any diff than now but i cannot bank on it.
This was heard also by my ex who turned up. When the doc had gone, my ex bro & sis inlaw arrived so we were a quite a bunch in the visiting room.
Now they have all gone and im on 16 cortizon tabs, plus epelepsy, stomach and simvastitin. I will have an injection in my stomach to ward off infections tonight and at 6am tomorrow. I will shower with anti-infection soon and again tomorrow. No food from midnight.
After the op it will take at least 5 days to say the cancer type and then decide the course of treatment. Whatever it will be will be tough. Gosh what curved balls are being thrown my way!
This was heard also by my ex who turned up. When the doc had gone, my ex bro & sis inlaw arrived so we were a quite a bunch in the visiting room.
Now they have all gone and im on 16 cortizon tabs, plus epelepsy, stomach and simvastitin. I will have an injection in my stomach to ward off infections tonight and at 6am tomorrow. I will shower with anti-infection soon and again tomorrow. No food from midnight.
After the op it will take at least 5 days to say the cancer type and then decide the course of treatment. Whatever it will be will be tough. Gosh what curved balls are being thrown my way!
My new place
Now i am at my new living quarters. I have got my own room on floor 6, dept R16, room 3. Here i will be until tomorrow morning, when they give me sedatives and wheel me down to the OR and knock me out for 3 hours. They told me i will woken up straight after surgery as this is the best for my brain so no long time stuff. I will know whats what when i actually become compus mentus. I will be held in a recovery room for a while until moving to my real room on ward R13,not R16 and probably not my own room :o( . Hohum. I probably wont care.
Had my MRI at 11:30. It was a complimentary one, lasting 20 mins. I should get some answer from the brain surgeon who will be visiting me this afternoon. Maybe they've found the culprit causing this one. I've got a headache and i wonder if its the stress or the ruddy tumour. Oops..now its time for ECG.
Had my MRI at 11:30. It was a complimentary one, lasting 20 mins. I should get some answer from the brain surgeon who will be visiting me this afternoon. Maybe they've found the culprit causing this one. I've got a headache and i wonder if its the stress or the ruddy tumour. Oops..now its time for ECG.
Monday, 9 August 2010
Today I woke at 9:30, had cereal for breckie and took the bus to the data centre. There, I went to the colocation and looked for my keys to the room in the cellar. There is my Alt Saxophone and music/stands. Couldn't find them. Went down to level two and found my old friends from the site engineering dept and one of my work mates. They said they would open the door for me. My work colleague and me went to lunch and had a good talk. Once back we took down the power for WoW, which is now almost silent. The lights are turned off.
Then me and work friend went to Colo, where i should him how to fix new people in the key system.
The phone rang and it was my neuro surgeon. We had a long talk about the ways and wherefores and she was very good at explaining. Basically they think i have cancer and somewhere a primary one, hidden. I asked if, finding another that was easier to reach, they might be able to get to that and check whats what and she said yes. The MRI tomorrow might find the primary growth. They will also see if the one they see has grown since being found 2 weeks ago. So I guess things wll be known.
Colleague and me went down to the cellar and I pulled out the Sax from its lovely case. I gave it a blow and it felt good, even though ive lost most of the knack. Packed everything up and GF met me at the entrance. First time the Sax has been home for 5 years.
So, a little of Whisky with cola has been drunk after dinner. The first whisky and coke though got spilled all over my litte Samsung Laptop and it basically f****d. So, if I get through this thing with everthing in working order I will buy a new one.
Its 21:38. Time to pack a few things maybe.
I will be admitted to R13 at Karolinska Universitetssjukhuset at 10:00. Visiting hours from 14:00 to 19:00.
Welcome all who wsh to say something.
Stephen
Then me and work friend went to Colo, where i should him how to fix new people in the key system.
The phone rang and it was my neuro surgeon. We had a long talk about the ways and wherefores and she was very good at explaining. Basically they think i have cancer and somewhere a primary one, hidden. I asked if, finding another that was easier to reach, they might be able to get to that and check whats what and she said yes. The MRI tomorrow might find the primary growth. They will also see if the one they see has grown since being found 2 weeks ago. So I guess things wll be known.
Colleague and me went down to the cellar and I pulled out the Sax from its lovely case. I gave it a blow and it felt good, even though ive lost most of the knack. Packed everything up and GF met me at the entrance. First time the Sax has been home for 5 years.
So, a little of Whisky with cola has been drunk after dinner. The first whisky and coke though got spilled all over my litte Samsung Laptop and it basically f****d. So, if I get through this thing with everthing in working order I will buy a new one.
Its 21:38. Time to pack a few things maybe.
I will be admitted to R13 at Karolinska Universitetssjukhuset at 10:00. Visiting hours from 14:00 to 19:00.
Welcome all who wsh to say something.
Stephen
Friday, 6 August 2010
6th Aug 2010 18:12
Spoke to the nurse at Karolinska this afternoon. She is going to get the neuro surgeon we met last tues to ring me on monday. If i want a second opinion i will have to go to Uppsala. I want to know how many have really checked out my pics and if there is another way of handling this. I wont just nod and accept the first thing that is said.
6th Aug 2010 15:14
Just thought.......
Cant i be out somewhere and see some youngster in a perilous predicament and save him/her with a cost....? :o) That would be OK!
Cant i be out somewhere and see some youngster in a perilous predicament and save him/her with a cost....? :o) That would be OK!
6th Aug 2010 12:55
Lay awake last night with thoughts poring through my head. Finally rang the GF, who was working nights at the elderly home she is a nurse at.
I suddenly wondered why they should cut me up JUST to see what the tumour is about and at the same time muck up the functioning part of me. OK, I cant see the right side at the top to middle and have to move my entire face to read the text. At least at distance i can see most things without feeling so disturbed. They only want to see if its cancer or not and the mri on tuesday will check if i have a queen tumour in the head. If there is maybe its easier getable at and they can check that. Then they can put in treatment for the nasty one, too.
I think probing in my head for "checking" is a bit over the top and will not sign any ops papers until i have second or even third opinions. Can a laser sword or chemo do the trick without interference with the brain tissue? Would be a bonus.
I suddenly wondered why they should cut me up JUST to see what the tumour is about and at the same time muck up the functioning part of me. OK, I cant see the right side at the top to middle and have to move my entire face to read the text. At least at distance i can see most things without feeling so disturbed. They only want to see if its cancer or not and the mri on tuesday will check if i have a queen tumour in the head. If there is maybe its easier getable at and they can check that. Then they can put in treatment for the nasty one, too.
I think probing in my head for "checking" is a bit over the top and will not sign any ops papers until i have second or even third opinions. Can a laser sword or chemo do the trick without interference with the brain tissue? Would be a bonus.
Thursday, 5 August 2010
5th Aug 2010 19:23
This morning, around lunch time, I walked off to the center. My GF had some stuff to do so I had to fend for myself. I had received papers from the bank that i could sign and give power of attorney to my ex bro/sis-in-law to take care of my finacial matters if things go haywire. That feels reassuring. They do not have to do things together but act individually if need be. They are totally trustworthy.
While i was at the bank the GF rang and was at the center, too, so we had lunch together. We then walked up to O'Leary's and I had a beer while we sat outside on the pubs outside serving. The weather has been very warm and sunny. The beer didn't taste special because the tabs muck up my taste a lot, but beggars cant be chosers.
Then some friends rang me, Lasse and Mila, and they came over with some coffee bread in the guise of Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers. Now I have three boxes in the fridge. Nice sucking biccies. I need some crap in me as i weighed 73,6 kilos yesterday morning. Today i was at 75,7. What will it be tomorrow?
GF is working night today, from 21:00-07:00 and will be back here in time to give me my meds in the wee hours! :o) Son Nr 2 is still here, which is very nice.
I've been to the Library and borrowed 7 books on CD's. Busy loading the first 8 cd's upto my ITunes so i can listen to John Updikes "Villages" tonight. The other books are also loads of cd's, so it will keep me busy.
While i was at the bank the GF rang and was at the center, too, so we had lunch together. We then walked up to O'Leary's and I had a beer while we sat outside on the pubs outside serving. The weather has been very warm and sunny. The beer didn't taste special because the tabs muck up my taste a lot, but beggars cant be chosers.
Then some friends rang me, Lasse and Mila, and they came over with some coffee bread in the guise of Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers. Now I have three boxes in the fridge. Nice sucking biccies. I need some crap in me as i weighed 73,6 kilos yesterday morning. Today i was at 75,7. What will it be tomorrow?
GF is working night today, from 21:00-07:00 and will be back here in time to give me my meds in the wee hours! :o) Son Nr 2 is still here, which is very nice.
I've been to the Library and borrowed 7 books on CD's. Busy loading the first 8 cd's upto my ITunes so i can listen to John Updikes "Villages" tonight. The other books are also loads of cd's, so it will keep me busy.
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
4th Aug 2010 21:47
I think its time to explain the sight problem, as most think that I will lose the sight from one eye. This is not the case. They say I will lose the right side of my vision on BOTH eyes. To imagine this one can hold up a book or hands and block the sight over the entire right sides of left and right eye so u can only see half of the eyes vision. Having just one eye working fine is no big deal, but this is not going to be so fun. But I suppose its better than total blindness, which the surgeon says is not on the cards.
4th Aug 2010 19:02
Had a visit from the ex sister & bro-in-law this afternoon, while GF was away fixing personal stuff. They arrived around 14:30 with blueberry pie and cream and made some of the GF's Ethiopian coffee (the only coffee she drinks as she comes from there and that is actually where all coffee in the whole world originates from) and we sat and talked. They told me about how ex sis-in-laws mother found a lot of stuff in her body early last year and how she had written, a long time ago, a testament about how to do the right thing if things ever happen to the body that are irreversible. She passed away late last yeat and the document was known of by the hospital staff. Its not juristic but its signed by two witnesses and states that if things go wrong they can shutdown the life support.
Its in Swedish, but thats were I live, so I have printed it out and will get my ex sis-bro-in-laws to sign it!
Well, what a nice surprise. Nr 2 son has come home and we have had a long and, sometimes, emotional talk. He is very intellectual and understands the things that are happening. This is a good sign. Now its time for some scrambled eggs ala Stephen.
Its in Swedish, but thats were I live, so I have printed it out and will get my ex sis-bro-in-laws to sign it!
Well, what a nice surprise. Nr 2 son has come home and we have had a long and, sometimes, emotional talk. He is very intellectual and understands the things that are happening. This is a good sign. Now its time for some scrambled eggs ala Stephen.
4th Aug 00:16
Took a sleeping pill, which doesn't do a shit for a while.
Writing on my iphone 3GS, which takes time but is easier to see the text. GF is falling asleep beside me due to exhaustion in listening to me. Dont blame her.
As for oblivion, I know what its like when i crashed my pedal bike and lost consciosness for 20 min. I forgot the first 10 mins from my journey from home to the crash spot. Some punks had loosened my front wheel nuts and the wheel fell off. My helmet saved my death, which was a real thump on the temple of my left head So, i know oblivion and it could be a good way to solve this "lying as a slice of bacon" for evermore?
Wonder if i have the guts? Would be nice to be remembered by Blizz as a second to none support guy, immortality!
Tablet starting to work. Best not write masses of blurd shit i guess
Writing on my iphone 3GS, which takes time but is easier to see the text. GF is falling asleep beside me due to exhaustion in listening to me. Dont blame her.
As for oblivion, I know what its like when i crashed my pedal bike and lost consciosness for 20 min. I forgot the first 10 mins from my journey from home to the crash spot. Some punks had loosened my front wheel nuts and the wheel fell off. My helmet saved my death, which was a real thump on the temple of my left head So, i know oblivion and it could be a good way to solve this "lying as a slice of bacon" for evermore?
Wonder if i have the guts? Would be nice to be remembered by Blizz as a second to none support guy, immortality!
Tablet starting to work. Best not write masses of blurd shit i guess
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
3rd Aug 2010 19:00
The Ruddles County beer is being drunk from my pint mug and Fish & Chips is being made (the easy way in the oven) for GF and myself. Haricot beans and brussel sprouts plus som baked beans with make it tasty.
So to more matters, that, unfortnately, do not sound as nice as dinner.
The surgeon told me that the tumour is probably malignant and they cannot rule out a secondary one lying very, very hidden in my brain.
The position of the thing at the moment is very much within my vision area and not an easy thing to work on. The thing is that my sight is being effected by the growth and in all probabilty will, after the investigation surgery, result in my entire right side of both eyes sight disappearing.
As it is also near other stuff it could effect my speech and other things, which is a bummer.
So now I can say that I am no longer a driver unless a miracle happens and i come out unscatherd. My GF will have to take over my Cooper and become my chauffeur.
Next Tuesday, 10th Aug, I'm checking intó the Karolinska Neuro Host and having another MRI to find the possible "other culprit". Then the day after they are going to put me out for 3 + hours and cut a part of my skull away from the left side of my head, by the ear, and, using micro instruments, go through blood capilaries to take a biopsi of the tumour. This could cause the stuff already mentioned but i guess i'll just have to hope they are top notch and dont do anything.
After they know then the treatment can be decided. They dont really know if the op will happen next
Wed if there are more pressing things occuring for others.
They rang me up later and told me that i have now been given tablets for Epilepsy, which could happen. Nowadays prescriptions are sent electronically to the central Chemists base and you can get them from the nearesr chemist. So its one in the morning and evening.
So, I have a week of doing what i want and then who knows what my life will be like after the surgeory. One thing is clear is that work is not on the cards for an undetermined time.....so im busy deleting lots of phone nrs on my iphone...time for a shake down anyway.
Until next post....
Stephen
So to more matters, that, unfortnately, do not sound as nice as dinner.
The surgeon told me that the tumour is probably malignant and they cannot rule out a secondary one lying very, very hidden in my brain.
The position of the thing at the moment is very much within my vision area and not an easy thing to work on. The thing is that my sight is being effected by the growth and in all probabilty will, after the investigation surgery, result in my entire right side of both eyes sight disappearing.
As it is also near other stuff it could effect my speech and other things, which is a bummer.
So now I can say that I am no longer a driver unless a miracle happens and i come out unscatherd. My GF will have to take over my Cooper and become my chauffeur.
Next Tuesday, 10th Aug, I'm checking intó the Karolinska Neuro Host and having another MRI to find the possible "other culprit". Then the day after they are going to put me out for 3 + hours and cut a part of my skull away from the left side of my head, by the ear, and, using micro instruments, go through blood capilaries to take a biopsi of the tumour. This could cause the stuff already mentioned but i guess i'll just have to hope they are top notch and dont do anything.
After they know then the treatment can be decided. They dont really know if the op will happen next
Wed if there are more pressing things occuring for others.
They rang me up later and told me that i have now been given tablets for Epilepsy, which could happen. Nowadays prescriptions are sent electronically to the central Chemists base and you can get them from the nearesr chemist. So its one in the morning and evening.
So, I have a week of doing what i want and then who knows what my life will be like after the surgeory. One thing is clear is that work is not on the cards for an undetermined time.....so im busy deleting lots of phone nrs on my iphone...time for a shake down anyway.
Until next post....
Stephen
Monday, 2 August 2010
2nd Aug 2010 17:00
Had a nice lunch with some work friends but had to tell all, of course. This blog is one thing but from the horses mouth is deemed best i suppose. I poured down and GF came to pick me up in the Cooper. She is getting more used to it now.
I'm very tired but cannot shutdown at all and GF thought i was sleeping when she went off to get her car from the garage. My older sister rang from her and hubbies home in Javea in Spain. They have a small but nice flat there at a friends house, occupying the lower level. As we were talking my mobile rang and it was the Neurological Centre at Karolinska, Solna, where I will be meeting surgeon Dr Jennie Pettersson-Segerlind at 14:00. I have nothing to say and will let them do all the talking. I'll sign on the dotted line, wherever they want. There isn't much to be discussed.
Tonight I will take a sleeping pill.
I'm very tired but cannot shutdown at all and GF thought i was sleeping when she went off to get her car from the garage. My older sister rang from her and hubbies home in Javea in Spain. They have a small but nice flat there at a friends house, occupying the lower level. As we were talking my mobile rang and it was the Neurological Centre at Karolinska, Solna, where I will be meeting surgeon Dr Jennie Pettersson-Segerlind at 14:00. I have nothing to say and will let them do all the talking. I'll sign on the dotted line, wherever they want. There isn't much to be discussed.
Tonight I will take a sleeping pill.
2nd Aug 2010 09:50
Actually made the effort to sleep without a pill last night......
At 2 am i gave up and was up until 6 am. Have dozed an hour or so because of those ruddy cortizon tabs. Have taken next lot, too, so I'm going to be high again....and I cant see any real difference to the eyes yet. Very frustrating when i really want to go for a drive.
"Dream" some very strange things and not altogether nice stuff either. Hope they get on with me soon so i can get on with whatever is left of my life......im not putting any eggs in any baskets yet. Not that ive got any..cupboard is bare..have to do some shopping.
I have a lovely Yamaha Alt sax, which I havent blown for years. Its down in the cellar at work where i could blow it without disturbing all the flat tenants. I'll have to take some time and do that now, while im waiting. Might do me some good. Will have to take the bus to work in Farstato get my card, though, and a few other things prolly.
At 2 am i gave up and was up until 6 am. Have dozed an hour or so because of those ruddy cortizon tabs. Have taken next lot, too, so I'm going to be high again....and I cant see any real difference to the eyes yet. Very frustrating when i really want to go for a drive.
"Dream" some very strange things and not altogether nice stuff either. Hope they get on with me soon so i can get on with whatever is left of my life......im not putting any eggs in any baskets yet. Not that ive got any..cupboard is bare..have to do some shopping.
I have a lovely Yamaha Alt sax, which I havent blown for years. Its down in the cellar at work where i could blow it without disturbing all the flat tenants. I'll have to take some time and do that now, while im waiting. Might do me some good. Will have to take the bus to work in Farstato get my card, though, and a few other things prolly.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
1st Aug 2010 09:55
After paying 120 kr for my pics I have finally got them copied through good old print screen and paste on XP! Wow! So i have taken a few from 26th July (day one), MRI from 28th (day 2) and the last one showing my lower body. How many more i will have i dont know as yet.
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