....if no showinw of cancer eaping out of the skull, no more cancer treatment for now until 9 Nov. Between then Goring-By-Sea will arrive. A part of agreeing with the nurses that 2 pints evening time will not do me harm. We will have to see.
Stephen
Saturday, 16 October 2010
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
What is it that actually functions around your own mind and body during the already known short life that awaits one at some time? What awaits you so you can possibly have a nice time with the life left, that one could deal with over a visiting period?
The knowledge that you will die earlier than the normal lucky lived, safe taken human, is a real shit. However, I am more aware that I will travel to my sister and her great husband, Alan, in England’s wonderful South Sea living town, Goring-by-Sea.
If things run during the second lot of cancer capsules around 20th Oct, maybe me and GF will have a chance to visit them until school goes back after half-time. It seems not exactly during the week of holiday for Mary as she has some work to do. No big problem as we can take it easy.
I will have to wait until app. 9th November to hear what the same day x-ray will show how much cancer I have. There might be a very weird reply that they cannot see the cancer but know, of course, its very small somewhere. Just now I feel run down with banged right knee/shins and also how I used to feel look after at Hästhagen. I can say that, again, the nurses and Drs were very close to me and very worth knowing.
I hope I will keep going for the time at see my family in England including my eldest sister, Tricia. Peter, my brother-in-law is still working at the school where they live in somewhere an hour from Alicante I think.
So that’s it for a while. See when I will write again.
Stephen
The knowledge that you will die earlier than the normal lucky lived, safe taken human, is a real shit. However, I am more aware that I will travel to my sister and her great husband, Alan, in England’s wonderful South Sea living town, Goring-by-Sea.
If things run during the second lot of cancer capsules around 20th Oct, maybe me and GF will have a chance to visit them until school goes back after half-time. It seems not exactly during the week of holiday for Mary as she has some work to do. No big problem as we can take it easy.
I will have to wait until app. 9th November to hear what the same day x-ray will show how much cancer I have. There might be a very weird reply that they cannot see the cancer but know, of course, its very small somewhere. Just now I feel run down with banged right knee/shins and also how I used to feel look after at Hästhagen. I can say that, again, the nurses and Drs were very close to me and very worth knowing.
I hope I will keep going for the time at see my family in England including my eldest sister, Tricia. Peter, my brother-in-law is still working at the school where they live in somewhere an hour from Alicante I think.
So that’s it for a while. See when I will write again.
Stephen
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
Last evening GF was tired at 21.00 and I wasn’t long after. I had a talk with my ex sister-in-law, who happened to ring suddenly before I went to bed.
I only had my duvet sheet on and felt blown, so I took the filler and lay it on the top.
This caused me to start moving around and not have a nice early morning at all. I became tired and after breakfast I had to doze before GF took me to the physio place at Handen hospital. After talking and trying to walk for 5 min as my right leg is not nice, I sort of sais to the nice trainer that I did not know what I wanted my life to be.
Working at your muscles and stuff seem to be things that over do what actually the thing to be taken seriously is. I kind of understand that my life could be pleasing if I could travel to my sisters and their husbands. Staying at Goring-by-Sea with them would be nice.
I don’t really know how my life will page out. Just now I’m fairly clear that the life expectancy is not known and my cancer level is not showing if one takes the x-ray done on the 11th Aug. As the fatal part is a certainly, the time it takes to do something could be one year or 6 months or 4 years.
What I really want is to knowing how much nice time I have of my life yet? I don’t want to keep going to cancer therapy, taking it to do things they say will keep my alive longer. What do they know?
I have a session of capsules over 5 days, maybe more, sometime around the 20th October. Will have to see what date it will be as it will fuck, up I guess, our holiday to my sis and hub which have the last week free in Oct. Also my bloody knee hurts like hell.
Stephen
I only had my duvet sheet on and felt blown, so I took the filler and lay it on the top.
This caused me to start moving around and not have a nice early morning at all. I became tired and after breakfast I had to doze before GF took me to the physio place at Handen hospital. After talking and trying to walk for 5 min as my right leg is not nice, I sort of sais to the nice trainer that I did not know what I wanted my life to be.
Working at your muscles and stuff seem to be things that over do what actually the thing to be taken seriously is. I kind of understand that my life could be pleasing if I could travel to my sisters and their husbands. Staying at Goring-by-Sea with them would be nice.
I don’t really know how my life will page out. Just now I’m fairly clear that the life expectancy is not known and my cancer level is not showing if one takes the x-ray done on the 11th Aug. As the fatal part is a certainly, the time it takes to do something could be one year or 6 months or 4 years.
What I really want is to knowing how much nice time I have of my life yet? I don’t want to keep going to cancer therapy, taking it to do things they say will keep my alive longer. What do they know?
I have a session of capsules over 5 days, maybe more, sometime around the 20th October. Will have to see what date it will be as it will fuck, up I guess, our holiday to my sis and hub which have the last week free in Oct. Also my bloody knee hurts like hell.
Stephen
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Life & Death
So, the 4 weeks or so at the very good physio therapy staying place at Hästhagen is over for me. I said goodbye to all those I felt near to as friend and nurse and doctor. The details of the tablets and stuff was made clear and GF and I left the place.
My death is not really clear as to when and how it will happen. About two weeks ago, on the Wednesday evening I took me first of five capsules containing 250 ml of cancer med. Interesting to know that they don't know the level of cancer I have. They need to run two lots of this, the next at the end of Oct. Each 5 capsules is counted as one run. So, after this one they will x-ray me and take blood probably. I will find out about the result. Maybe I'll throw the whole thing in the river and show a strange empty of things but still get the Dr saying there will still be cancer lurking about.
So, lets see what Stephen's result will give and hope he can hold off the crap so he can visit friends out of land and, hopefully together with GF, have a nice time.
A couple of beers in the evening can be on the order list. Life is short, so something can be order with the nice meal attached.
Until the next blog I bid adjour to all readers.
Stephen
My death is not really clear as to when and how it will happen. About two weeks ago, on the Wednesday evening I took me first of five capsules containing 250 ml of cancer med. Interesting to know that they don't know the level of cancer I have. They need to run two lots of this, the next at the end of Oct. Each 5 capsules is counted as one run. So, after this one they will x-ray me and take blood probably. I will find out about the result. Maybe I'll throw the whole thing in the river and show a strange empty of things but still get the Dr saying there will still be cancer lurking about.
So, lets see what Stephen's result will give and hope he can hold off the crap so he can visit friends out of land and, hopefully together with GF, have a nice time.
A couple of beers in the evening can be on the order list. Life is short, so something can be order with the nice meal attached.
Until the next blog I bid adjour to all readers.
Stephen
Sunday, 3 October 2010
T-Minus 3½ days
The 3rd of October is now 20.29 and its one of the latest times I’ve spent out of bed. GF, my wonderful living with girl, fetched me from the staying place at Hästhagen Friday afternoon. I was a nice time to get away and GF made some lovely un-hurting stomach that appeared from me 2 weeks ago.
My tablets have lowered so I no more have the injection jab in the stomach or pills mind-day. GF is very clever at being a nurse and could run the taking of the white/light brownish tabs plus the dissolved ones. I’ll have to learn this to put her free to go straight to bed after 07.00 end of the night ward station. She works very hard.
I will be leaving Hästhagen on Wednesday this week and getting my rehab together in Handen, where is near to my flat. It will take some time to get me weight and strength together as they should be.
My car use is out of the window as is my pedal bike unless an absolute hidden amazement does work to my eyes and rest of me.
Eyes are not together at certain levels of movement and still not visible on the right after keeping the eyes straight and moving the finger over the right half. The left side is ok but the left and right eyes cannot see right zone. Urghh!
So, now is the time to wait to the call from the cancer people and see if the x-ray will show what the result will be from the non-destructing thing. Yes, although 3cmx1.5cm was fully removed, the cancer Dr told us the remaining stuff will keep eating at me. Sounds like a wonderful thing. I have no idea how low the cancer and how longer it can be kept.
If it takes a year and nothing really happens, I thing I would rather go on a holiday, drinking beer and wine, eating good food and die in the end. What’s the worse? I could get these things I take and still get the Death! My life will not be left with years of tries and pass away without good things.
I hope I get to experience this without the result of flames showing the end of me…
My tablets have lowered so I no more have the injection jab in the stomach or pills mind-day. GF is very clever at being a nurse and could run the taking of the white/light brownish tabs plus the dissolved ones. I’ll have to learn this to put her free to go straight to bed after 07.00 end of the night ward station. She works very hard.
I will be leaving Hästhagen on Wednesday this week and getting my rehab together in Handen, where is near to my flat. It will take some time to get me weight and strength together as they should be.
My car use is out of the window as is my pedal bike unless an absolute hidden amazement does work to my eyes and rest of me.
Eyes are not together at certain levels of movement and still not visible on the right after keeping the eyes straight and moving the finger over the right half. The left side is ok but the left and right eyes cannot see right zone. Urghh!
So, now is the time to wait to the call from the cancer people and see if the x-ray will show what the result will be from the non-destructing thing. Yes, although 3cmx1.5cm was fully removed, the cancer Dr told us the remaining stuff will keep eating at me. Sounds like a wonderful thing. I have no idea how low the cancer and how longer it can be kept.
If it takes a year and nothing really happens, I thing I would rather go on a holiday, drinking beer and wine, eating good food and die in the end. What’s the worse? I could get these things I take and still get the Death! My life will not be left with years of tries and pass away without good things.
I hope I get to experience this without the result of flames showing the end of me…
At Stephens borrowed PC in Hästhage!
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