T-Minus 3½ days

The 3rd of October is now 20.29 and its one of the latest times I’ve spent out of bed. GF, my wonderful living with girl, fetched me from the staying place at Hästhagen Friday afternoon. I was a nice time to get away and GF made some lovely un-hurting stomach that appeared from me 2 weeks ago.




My tablets have lowered so I no more have the injection jab in the stomach or pills mind-day. GF is very clever at being a nurse and could run the taking of the white/light brownish tabs plus the dissolved ones. I’ll have to learn this to put her free to go straight to bed after 07.00 end of the night ward station. She works very hard.



I will be leaving Hästhagen on Wednesday this week and getting my rehab together in Handen, where is near to my flat. It will take some time to get me weight and strength together as they should be.



My car use is out of the window as is my pedal bike unless an absolute hidden amazement does work to my eyes and rest of me.



Eyes are not together at certain levels of movement and still not visible on the right after keeping the eyes straight and moving the finger over the right half. The left side is ok but the left and right eyes cannot see right zone. Urghh!



So, now is the time to wait to the call from the cancer people and see if the x-ray will show what the result will be from the non-destructing thing. Yes, although 3cmx1.5cm was fully removed, the cancer Dr told us the remaining stuff will keep eating at me. Sounds like a wonderful thing. I have no idea how low the cancer and how longer it can be kept.



If it takes a year and nothing really happens, I thing I would rather go on a holiday, drinking beer and wine, eating good food and die in the end. What’s the worse? I could get these things I take and still get the Death! My life will not be left with years of tries and pass away without good things.



I hope I get to experience this without the result of flames showing the end of me…

At Stephens borrowed PC in Hästhage!

Sorry about the "fuck" word

So here I am and trying to get together the things that are waiting to be known.


I made it from Karolinska after surprising the Dr. She thought it very good and I was sent to Hästhage training at Ersta. My eyes are still not so good and I do as much training as is handled. As I was very light (71.6), it took me no good working on my right leg the first time.

All the exercises were done kneeling. They are very good and I give as well as I can. However I couldn’t get the foot up right side. After 4 half hour visits for knee training I was able to pull my leg up from the right side without help and alternate with the other several times. At last, a success.

We continue with twisting of body, push ups, turning over and doing push ups of the back. These things.....

I cannot really write these things. They form a detail of things that should show the “I’m going to fight my battle at its highest. I’m not and my eyes do actually fill with water at times.


Waking on the 27th Aug made me aware that something had occurred and the subsequent of listening of what had occurred was quite astounding to know. I do not still have a memory yet of my life since the 3rd Aug.


Everything that had been discussed with the Operation technician was after that very first meeting on 3rd Aug gone. I have been told I was put on the op table the 11th Aug to work on my cancer at the front left side, in with my right side vision stuff. I was worked on for a longer time than that was originally planned, but taken off after many hours. The op had begun to give wakey-wakey and was aware, they say, of the waking.


Suddenly, on the 12 they found a problem with blood on the left side, under the worked on area. The 13th Aug it became critic and I slept (for me to remember) until the 27th Aug. It was then I began to call after me lovely GF, who had been in contact with Dr’s, nurses and my nearest from my old marriage and the ex-brother and sister-in-laws. They had all waited for death or speech or walk ends to my 2½ weeks light slumber. I had shown another deal to my self and caused another reaction.


I was very weak as 2½ weeks showed me that time had shrunk me. After 9 days I had stuff they were surprised over and they said it was time to move to Hästhage near Sickle, Nacka.

I moves there with ambulance taxi and got a bed in a room with three other patients. One of them, who was older and wheelchair ridden, coughed and snorted for at least 1½ weeks before we and Jerzy, called Jerry, got a new guy called Micke. Better threesome.


However it’s difficult to work every training session that is booked up. I worked at 71.6 and tried do as much as I could. Sometimes, when getting ready for sleep, my eyes gave up and I got great soothing and understand from Tune, one of my nurses and other was my women Dr, Lotta.


This is the fourth day after cancer tube tablet. I have one evening this Sunday tonight and then its 23 days before the next lot if it’s decided. I have cried a deal for myself and with my GF, who cries too.


My life seems to be totally out of synch with things that are not in my life. My eye sight has not gained that I wish for and I wish one day it will. I would love to drive again but it seems that the vision from the central to the right side is missing. To follow the stuff on the right I must move my whole head to see where I am looking. Even during normal day times I get tired and my focus loses it. Having great look ability is not ok just now and, sadly, another fuck for crying sometimes.


So now it’s 26th Sunday and time for lunch. It will be my first pause for 23 days after the last of the chemo plastic pill which gets swollen this evening at 21.00 after injections and tabs for epilepsy. I wonder why so much of it when I have never suffered from it before? Aha, they gave me the sodden thing for the first time ever.


At Stephens borrowed PC in Hästhage!

Busy day

Today I woke up at 7.30. I got up around 8.00 and suddenly forgot where my small key was. I had breakfast and went back to my bed. I began to think and found it coververed in my necessary bag with my razor. Now I'm going to get a Mini key holder and use that!

At 10.00 I did a good half hour with my model Philipinne butterfly. I have almost drawn the outcast and can then cut the mpdel. This butterfly I saw live in the Stockholm glass visiting Hage area. I bought the car mounting sticker in 1988 and have had the same mounter still after changing 4 cars. I will make the ceramic one when I can.

Second 1/2 hr was Qi Zong and lots of moving arms and legs. Good training.

Last was Volley Ball with six a side! I could stand yet again and try to use my right eye. Its hard when you cannot see without following the whole area.

Now my hours are over until coming Monday. I am going to be at Hästhage this weekend as GF has night work. She will be free on Sunday and follow me to Karolinska at 9 am. That info will come.

Stephen

So today....

....was one of those breakfasts which was ok followed half hour of the knee usage to train the usage. This was done by an expert girl who has the expertise we follow.

We use kneeling and backwards laying. After 1/2 hour I'm knackered and the second 1/2 hour is not fully ok. I do get time running by Karim, who shows me how to run 1 kilo. It was good. After lunch and rest I had coffee at 14.00 and my GF came. I was ready to do more training but my good friends
were there. We had a good timd, we four. They were here a long time. I knew more were coming so said bye, ate late and met then the Huddinge Motorcycle group. This was good to and explained how thigs happened.

I hope everyone had a good time.

All the best

Stephen

So, what happened?

Everyone knew i was going to have an op.it was the 11th Aug in the morning.
I was given the os, where they cut off the left part of the skull and removes the cancer (i think).

I was brought around but do not remember. After two days, 13 Aug my brain was bleeding and a new op had to be done. This time I was caused to stay asleep i two & half weeks.
Every friend did not know the out come of my life.

The 17th I managed to briefly show some life.


The 27th Aug I awoke and my life, weak as it was,said hi! I had both feet, hands, sight and touch. I managed to surprise the Drs and my lover together with fam friends and also close work colleagues. So, after nearly several weeks I am at Hästhage and train my poor,weak body. Give me power everone!

Stephen - 15th Sept 2010

Monday 11th Aug 2010 06:40

In one hour they fetch me and take me to the op rum. My iphone and other stuff will be moved to locked room somewhere and i will vacate my nice single room here on floor 6, dept r16, room 3. I have showered with special anti-bacterial soap and am lying on my newly bedded bed. In one hour approx they will roll me down to the op room and, as always have me count to 5 knowing i will reach 2, maybe. I've been knocked twice before during my life.

At 12 years old the knew i had an undescended right testicle and the school Dr thought it was time to do the right thing and remove the thing from the channel on the right side where it was stuck. The took it out, cut open my right side of the scrotum and pop it in. They sewed it up and i had stitches in both places. Of cofse i didnt know when i work up that i have stiches in my balls and thought i had just loose skjn. When i lifted my bed clothes and saw the stiches in my scrotum i got a shock. What followed was a complcation that cauSed a blooded clot on the wound and i had to spend an extra week in host and squeeze out the blood in 3 sali ne baths a day. I was in Croydon General hospital for two weeks instead of one sods of law.

Now i have taken a sedative and in 20 mins i will bexrolled down to the theater for my new acting part. I wil be trusting the surgeons to not take away my entire right vision as i can live as it is now. So the nurses now want my iphone to be locked away.

So this is my last entry for a awhile and, the the higher things around us might let me survive with vision intact as the are now instead of loosins my right vision. Keep though thumbs crossed.

Stephenx

Just as I thought

Had a long visit from four of my work mates (section chief included). We had a good talk and they stayed 1,5 hours at least. Then GF came and dinner was served. As i finished the nice surgeon arrived and told me there was no other tumour showing on the mri. However the now known as primary tumour had grown since 28th july 2x 1,5 to 3,5 x 1,5. This shows its more than likely cancer and the op will be at 8am tomorrow, Wednesday. Hopefully my sight will not be made any diff than now but i cannot bank on it.

This was heard also by my ex who turned up. When the doc had gone, my ex bro & sis inlaw arrived so we were a quite a bunch in the visiting room.

Now they have all gone and im on 16 cortizon tabs, plus epelepsy, stomach and simvastitin. I will have an injection in my stomach to ward off infections tonight and at 6am tomorrow. I will shower with anti-infection soon and again tomorrow. No food from midnight.

After the op it will take at least 5 days to say the cancer type and then decide the course of treatment. Whatever it will be will be tough. Gosh what curved balls are being thrown my way!