6th Aug 2010 18:12

Spoke to the nurse at Karolinska this afternoon. She is going to get the neuro surgeon we met last tues to ring me on monday. If i want a second opinion i will have to go to Uppsala. I want to know how many have really checked out my pics and if there is another way of handling this. I wont just nod and accept the first thing that is said.

6th Aug 2010 15:14

Just thought.......
Cant i be out somewhere and see some youngster in a perilous predicament and save him/her with a cost....? :o) That would be OK!

6th Aug 2010 12:55

Lay awake last night with thoughts poring through my head. Finally rang the GF, who was working nights at the elderly home she is a nurse at.

I suddenly wondered why they should cut me up JUST to see what the tumour is about and at the same time muck up the functioning part of me. OK, I cant see the right side at the top to middle and have to move my entire face to read the text. At least at distance i can see most things without feeling so disturbed. They only want to see if its cancer or not and the mri on tuesday will check if i have a queen tumour in the head. If there is maybe its easier getable at and they can check that. Then they can put in treatment for the nasty one, too.

I think probing in my head for "checking" is a bit over the top and will not sign any ops papers until i have second or even third opinions. Can a laser sword or chemo do the trick without interference with the brain tissue?  Would be a bonus.

5th Aug 2010 19:23

This morning, around lunch time, I walked off to the center. My GF had some stuff to do so I had to fend for myself. I had received papers from the bank that i could sign and give power of attorney to my ex bro/sis-in-law to take care of my finacial matters if things go haywire. That feels reassuring. They do not have to do things together but act individually if need be. They are totally trustworthy.

While i was at the bank the GF rang and was at the center, too, so we had lunch together. We then walked up to O'Leary's and I had a beer while we sat outside on the pubs outside serving. The weather has been very warm and sunny. The beer didn't taste special because the tabs muck up my taste a lot, but beggars cant be chosers.

Then some friends rang me, Lasse and Mila, and they came over with some coffee bread in the guise of Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers. Now I have three boxes in the fridge. Nice sucking biccies. I need some crap in me as i weighed 73,6 kilos yesterday morning. Today i was at 75,7. What will it be tomorrow?

GF is working night today, from 21:00-07:00 and will be back here in time to give me my meds in the wee hours! :o) Son Nr 2 is still here, which is very nice.

I've been to the Library and borrowed 7 books on CD's. Busy loading the first 8 cd's upto my ITunes so i can listen to John Updikes "Villages" tonight. The other books are also loads of cd's, so it will keep me busy.

4th Aug 2010 21:47

I think its time to explain the sight problem, as most think that I will lose the sight from one eye. This is not the case. They say I will lose the right side of my vision on BOTH eyes. To imagine this one can hold up a book or hands and block the sight over the entire right sides of left and right eye so u can only see half of the eyes vision. Having just one eye working fine is no big deal, but this is not going to be so fun. But I suppose its better than total blindness, which the surgeon says is not on the cards.

4th Aug 2010 19:02

Had a visit from the ex sister & bro-in-law this afternoon, while GF was away fixing personal stuff. They arrived around 14:30 with blueberry pie and cream and made some of the GF's Ethiopian coffee (the only coffee she drinks as she comes from there and that is actually where all coffee in the whole world originates from) and we sat and talked. They told me about how ex sis-in-laws mother found a lot of stuff in her body early last year and how she had written, a long time ago, a testament about how to do the right thing if things ever happen to the body that are irreversible. She passed away late last yeat and the document was known of by the hospital staff. Its not juristic but its signed by two witnesses and states that if things go wrong they can shutdown the life support.

Its in Swedish, but thats were I live, so I have printed it out and will get my ex sis-bro-in-laws to sign it!

Well, what a nice surprise. Nr 2 son has come home and we have had a long and, sometimes, emotional talk. He is very intellectual and understands the things that are happening. This is a good sign. Now its time for some scrambled eggs ala Stephen.

4th Aug 00:16

Took a sleeping pill, which doesn't do a shit for a while.
Writing on my iphone 3GS, which takes time but is easier to see the text. GF is falling asleep beside me due to exhaustion in listening to me. Dont blame her.

As for oblivion, I know what its like when i crashed my pedal bike and lost consciosness for 20 min. I forgot the first 10 mins from my journey from home to the crash spot. Some punks had loosened my front wheel nuts and the wheel fell off. My helmet saved my death, which was a real thump on the temple of my left head So, i know oblivion and it could be a good way to solve this "lying as a slice of bacon" for evermore?

Wonder if i have the guts? Would be nice to be remembered by Blizz as a second to none support guy, immortality!

Tablet starting to work. Best not write masses of blurd shit i guess