Last evening GF was tired at 21.00 and I wasn’t long after. I had a talk with my ex sister-in-law, who happened to ring suddenly before I went to bed.


I only had my duvet sheet on and felt blown, so I took the filler and lay it on the top.

This caused me to start moving around and not have a nice early morning at all. I became tired and after breakfast I had to doze before GF took me to the physio place at Handen hospital. After talking and trying to walk for 5 min as my right leg is not nice, I sort of sais to the nice trainer that I did not know what I wanted my life to be.

Working at your muscles and stuff seem to be things that over do what actually the thing to be taken seriously is. I kind of understand that my life could be pleasing if I could travel to my sisters and their husbands. Staying at Goring-by-Sea with them would be nice.

I don’t really know how my life will page out. Just now I’m fairly clear that the life expectancy is not known and my cancer level is not showing if one takes the x-ray done on the 11th Aug. As the fatal part is a certainly, the time it takes to do something could be one year or 6 months or 4 years.

What I really want is to knowing how much nice time I have of my life yet? I don’t want to keep going to cancer therapy, taking it to do things they say will keep my alive longer. What do they know?

I have a session of capsules over 5 days, maybe more, sometime around the 20th October. Will have to see what date it will be as it will fuck, up I guess, our holiday to my sis and hub which have the last week free in Oct. Also my bloody knee hurts like hell.



Stephen